Mediation Voucher Scheme
Ever since I first became involved in family mediation, there is a key issue that has been on my mind as well as on the mind of most of the mediators who I know, namely:
Why have so few people who would benefit from family mediation (e.g. divorcing or separating couples and parents or grandparents who need to sort of children’s issues) seem to have heard of “mediation”?
For a start, most people who I talk to about the topic, either seem to immediately assume that I am talking about “meditation” or have a strong sense that I am referring to a form of “counselling”.
However, once I have been able to explain that I am talking about “mediation not meditation” and that mediation is very different from counselling, there is an overwhelmingly positive reaction to the concept from the people who I am talking to. This reaction might be “If only I had known about mediation when I got divorced” or “If ever need to sort out finance and children issues in the future then I will definitely seek the help of a family mediator”.
It is this strange contradiction between the apparent lack of awareness about the existence of family mediation and the very positive reaction to the benefits of using family mediation (which is underpinned by the fact that the vast majority of the people who use mediation, or at least from my experience as a mediator, reach a successful conclusion within the mediation process) that gas fascinated me over the years.
Whilst I do have a number of ideas and theories about why this contradiction exists, I think that it would be really helpful for others to put forward their ideas about why this is the case. Who knows, if enough people take part in this process then this discussion itself may enable the mediation process to be improved and provide many more people with the opportunity to benefit from the use of family mediation in the future.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post and I look forward to reading your comments.
Euan Davidson
Family mediator
Godalming Family Mediation
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I believe the biggest problem is we don’t like to admit we have a problem or admit we need help with any problems we do have. It’s a natural human reaction from cultural conditioning. Also, some people think mediation is all touchy-feely share all your emotions type of thing and it makes them uncomfortable because they don’t want to be that open, especially when they have been hurt by the other person involved.
Thank you, Randy, for your insightful comment. I think that you raise some very interesting points about the need for us as mediators to ensure that we are attuned to the emotional needs and perceptions of prospective clients as well as those clients who are brave enough to take the important step of starting the mediation process. Perhaps I should start a new topic relating to the need for mediators to walk the fine line between ensuring that we do not stray into the touchy-feeling world of counselling whilst also ensuring that we are able to understand and react appropriately to our clients’ emotions and concerns.
Many thanks again for your comment
Euan Davidson
Family mediator
Godalming Family Mediation